Dumb Bunny Jokes

What did the Dumb Bunnies name their pet zebra?   Spot. How is a Dumb Bunny like a banana?   They’re both pink, except for the banana. What did Baby Bunny get when he spilled his milk down his pants?   Wet. What’s fuzzy and pink, and can see just as well in the daytime as it can at night?   A Dumb Bunny with its eyes shut. What did Baby Bunny say when he looked into a box of Cheerios?   "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!" Why does it take Momma Bunny so long to make chocolate chip cookies?   It takes forever to peel all of those M&M’s. How did Poppa Bunny break his leg raking the leaves?   He fell out of the tree. Why don’t the Dumb Bunnies make Kool-Aid?   They can’t fit 8 quarts of water into that little package. Why did Baby Bunny bring lipstick and eye-shadow to school?   He had a make-up exam. Where did Momma and Poppa Bunny go after they got married?   On their Bunnymoon. Which side of a Dumb Bunny has the most fur?   The outside. What did Momma and Poppa Bunny do when Baby Bunny swallowed a pencil?   They used a pen.

Dogzilla Jokes

Where does Dogzilla keep her car?   In a barking lot. What did Dogzilla do at the flea circus?   She stole the show. Why did Dogzilla chase her tail?   She was trying to make ends meet. What does Dogzilla use to wash her hair?   Shampoodle. What does Dogzilla eat for breakfast?   Pooched eggs.

Kat Kong Jokes

What does Kat Kong gargle with?   Mousewash. What are the two things Kat Kong won’t eat for breakfast?   Lunch and dinner. What’s Kat Kong’s favorite magazine?   Good Mousekeeping. What’s Kat Kong’s favorite dessert?   Mice Krispie Treats     Dr. Varmint: "Kat Kong just got arrested for throwing garbage all over town! Cap’n Limburger: "Really? What was the charge?" Dr. Varmint: "Kitty litter".

Animal Jokes

What’s black and white, black and white, black and white, and black and white?   A penguin rolling down a hill. What’s gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?   The Presidential Seal. What do you call a five-day-old dog in Switzerland?   A puppy. What’s black and white and green?   A zebra with a runny nose. What kind of turtle can’t be trusted?   A turtle-tale. Where do sheep get their hair cut?   At the baa-baa shop. Where do pigs come from?   Hamsterdam. Why don’t hens fight with each other?   They’re all chicken! What did the judge say when Hally Tosis walked into the courtroom?   "Odor in the court!"

Elephant Jokes

What’s gray and spins around and around?   An elephant stuck in a revolving door. What loves peanuts and goes Boom! Boom! Boom?   An elephant skipping rope. What’s red and white on the outside, and gray and lumpy on the inside?   Campbell’s Cream of Elephant Soup. What’s big and wrinkled, and stomps out forest fires?   Smokey the Elephant. Why do elephants paint their toenails blue?   So they can hide in blueberry bushes. Wait a minute---I’ve never seen an elephant in a blueberry bush before!??!   See? It works! What’s gray and flies?   An elephant on a hang glider.

Silly Gooses Jokes

Mr. Goose: "I dropped my watch in the river, and it’s still running!" Mrs. Goose: "The watch?!!?" Mr. Goose: "No, the river!"   Ketchup: "How much is 5Q plus 5Q?" Mustard: "10 Q" Ketchup: "You’re welcome!"   Mustard: "Daddy, I was just playing the harmonica, and I swallowed it!" Mr. Goose: "It’s a good thing you weren’t playing the piano!"   Mrs. Goose: "I need to go to the drugstore to buy some toiletries." Ketchup: "I didn’t know toilets grew on trees!"

Riddles

What’s brown and lives in a bell tower?   The Lunch Bag of Notre Dame. What do you get when you cross a skunk with a teddy bear?   Winnie the PYEW! What lived in pre-historic times, had very sharp teeth, and went boing-boing-boing?   A Tyrannosaurus Rex on a trampoline. What do you call a guy who’s born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?   Dead. What’s the best way to start a fire using only two sticks?   Make sure one of them is a match. What’s the definition of a "Twip"?   It’s a wide you take on a twain.

Miscellaneous Jokes

Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich?   Because the poor didn’t have any money. What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom?   A tuba toothpaste. What’s a ghost’s favorite magazine?   Good Housecreeping. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?   Because he had no body to go with. What’s green and tall, and flies kites during thunderstorms?   Benjamin Franklinstein. What kind of mosquitoes live at the North Pole?   Cold ones.

Captain Underpants Jokes

Mr. Krupp: "Doctor, last night I dreamed I was a Teepee, and the night before, I dreamed I was a wigwam!" Doctor: "You need to relax; you’re two tents!"   Mr. Krupp: "What’s your favorite state, George?" George: "Mississippi". Mr. Krupp: "How do you spell Mississippi?" George: "Ummm.... I like Ohio much better!"   Mr. Krupp: "Harold, how do you spell ‘Mississippi’?" Harold: "Wrong."   Harold: "Hey Mom, I got 100% in school today!" Harold’s Mom: "Congratulations, dear. In what subject?" Harold: "I got 50% in English, and 50% in history!"   Harold: "Mr. Krupp, would you punish us for something we didn’t do?" Mr. Krupp: "Of course not!" George: "Great! We didn’t do our homework!"   Mr. Krupp: "George, you were supposed to write a five page report on milk, but your report is only half-a-page long! What gives?!!?" George: "I was writing about condensed milk."   Mr. Krupp: "So, Harold, how do you like school?" Harold: "Closed."   Mr. Krupp: "George, didn’t you miss school yesterday?" George: "No, not at all!"   Mr. Krupp: "Harold, I hope I didn’t just see you looking at George’s answers!" Harold: "I hope you didn’t either!"   Harold: "Did you hear the one about the baseball player, the poison ivy, and the spider with thirteen legs?" George: "No." Harold: "Me neither."   George: "What’s the difference between a toilet and a refrigerator?" Harold: "I don’t know." George: "Ummm...remind me to never eat over at your house!"   Harold: "I know a person who thinks he’s an owl." George: "Who?" Harold: "Make that two people."

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Franks. Franks who? Franks a lot for forgetting my name!   Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Barry. Barry who? Barry interesting!   Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to hear another Knock-Knock joke?   Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Amos. Amos who? Amos-quito bit me!   Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Andy. Andy who? Andy just bit me again!   Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes the Dumbest Knock-Knock joke yet!   Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Adolph. Adolph who? Adolph ball hit me in de mowf. Dat’s why I dawk dike dis.   Knock, Knock, Who’s there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy wind bwows, de cwadle will wock.   Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Juan. Juan who? Juan more Knock-Knock joke left!   Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ida. Ida who? Ida know any more Knock-Knock jokes.   Knock-Knock. Who’s there Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I don’t know any more Knock-Knock jokes?

Jokes that Don't Make Any Sense

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a mailbox?   An orange that lights up when you eat it. What did the Polar Bear say when he saw an airplane?   "I’m sleepy" How many golf pros does it take to win the World Series?   Five. What has seven legs, fourteen arms, and wears a bow-tie?   Two Kidney Beans on a swing-set.   Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson.   What’s the difference between a basketball player and a piece of string?   String only has one leg! Why does the early bird get the worm?   Because the horse was on vacation.